”The first guy comes up to the gate and says, “I never, ever cheated on my wife and I love her.” So St. Peter gives him a Rolls Royce.The next man comes up and says, “I cheated on my wife a little but I still love her.” He gets a mustang and drives off into heaven.The next guy came up and said, “I cheated on my wife a lot.” He gets a scooter.Next day the guy that got the scooter was riding along and he saw the guy who owned the Rolls Royce crying.He asked, “Why are you crying you have such a nice car?” and the man sobbed, “My wife just went by on roller skates.”Phone Operator: “G’day mate ... Helpline here ... What’s the problem?”Customer: “I’m in the Outback with the girlfriend and she’s been stung on her thigh by a hornet and now her vagina has completely closed up!”Australian Telephone Operator: “Bummer!”Customer: “Great advice! Thanks mate, bye.”These are compliments of Gary H.Disturbing Beer News.Yesterday, University scientists released the results of a recent analysis that. 'Number 20: Where is Havana?' I was in two minds. Was it Cuba or Barbados. I went my gut instinct and put Cuba but wasn't sure.'Bonus question, for those at the back for an extra point: Who is going to get eliminated today?'. I laughed and turned around. They started whispering again and then came to a consensus and Lucy scribbled down an answer.'Lunch will be in the stable next door' Angelina said and collected the sheets before giving them to one of her maids. Lunch was a drab buffet but Josie, myself and Flashergirl were dragged off half way through to get changed into lycra cycling shorts and brightly coloured T-shirts. We were also given a pair of brightly coloured plimsolls.I was red, flashergirl blue and Josie yellow.Twenty minutes later we were at the start line, which was at the edge of a field.'Right, from here, go over the rope bridge, two points if you don't fall off. Over the cargo netting. That's another four and then across the beam for another three. Sprint around the.
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